Monday, 10 November 2008

大馬太空遊客演講賺百萬

大雁南飛之處, 赤道之端, 有一蕃薯形國土, 名曰大馬. 大者, 宏也, 馬者, 馬鏟也. 大馬者, 思想宏偉之馬鏟也. 其國無天災, 盛產石油, 平和向榮. 人民皆坐井觀天而安居樂業, 秉性宏達, 散盡家財亦臉無懼色, 蓋可賣石油度日也. 石油者黑金, 可換柴米油鹽矣.

一日馬鏟遙望廣寒宮, 其宏偉之血氣衝宏偉之馬腦, 逐花油錢買太空十一日遊巴士座位, 送馬鏟慕搾花上太空. 此慕搾花者, 貌如潘安, 身型壯碩, 小電影之才也. 太空遊畢, 慕搾花小白臉成名矣.

嘆馬鏟國民, 不知太空旅遊與太空漫步, 差之千里. 蓋太空漫步者, 人浮太空, 修理太空梭作秀, 驚險萬分, 稍有差池, 即證入不生不滅之境, 成太空浮蝣矣. 太空旅遊者, 緊繫安全帶即可, 屆時作無重量漂游, 空中喝茶焉, 空中大小便焉, 空中SM焉, 即令八十老頭, 只稍服偉哥, 即可上場矣. 馬鏟族不明所以, 乃曰, 我馬族有人上太空矣. 頓時全國上下, 一片歡騰, 馬嘶不絕. 包頭小馬妹, 更是對慕搾花一見傾心, 恨不得慕搾花即刻搾其花也.

然此慕榨花者, 全國巡迴演講, 廣結善緣之餘, 趁機斂財矣. 年得百萬, 皆因太空喝茶之功也. 光頭神探遠在番邦, 望之不禁搖頭, 如此大興不義之財, 作此無聊之舉, 實勞民傷財也. 蓋石油終有挖歇之際, 屆時賣馬尿以換柴米油鹽乎?

(照片來源: Botak. 荷蘭單車女郎, 膠卷沖洗掃描)

8 comments:

路人 said...

讓學生看一看這樣的文言文,一定能夠大大的提升他們學習古文的興趣以及對時事的關注!
介意轉帖嗎?

Botak said...

路人: 歡迎之至. 不是給小學生吧? :-)

wye said...

hello botak. 多年不見,還是老樣子. 冷眼橫眉不大像,倒有点怒发沖冠. 生活過得還充實吧!還玩吉他嗎?
-- ah漢

Botak said...

漢! 真的是你? 還在新加坡? 至少十年沒見了吧? 唉, 有些人是不會變的. 我生活還好, 勞碌命的人通常都過得很充實. email聯絡?

wye said...

email聯絡: honwye(at)hotmail.com

San said...

A non-malay even though he is more capable and more qualified but cannot:

Be - the prime minister of the country
Be - the deputy prime minister of the country
Be - the head of any branch of the armed forces in the country
Be - the head of department in a ministry
Be - the head of state of the states with no rulers
Be - the head prefect of a national school
Be - the IGP of the country
Be - the nominated as the best of the best in the school
Be - the secretary-general or deputy secretary-general of a ministry

What is worse is that the PM goes around telling people, repeating a crazy lie, by saying that - "We do not practice racial discrimination in our country".

Did the MCA and MIC leaders agree to this in 1957?

Did the people in Sabah and Sarawak also agree to this in 1963?

I think malays will keep on to give rubbish answer!

oversee said...

The truth is that the ability of education to bring people together is limited. On top of that, education - at least secular one - is about the pursuit of knowledge and truth, and hence whatever is taught in schools should be based on the truth and reality in order to unite the students.

But when our society is already polarised by the law and other economic realities, and we tell our children otherwise in school, its likely that the unity lessons will never stick for long or even worse result in a backlash.

What is more distressing is the fact that national education policy is only meant for the masses while our political leaders send their children overseas. Can we believe they have faith in our own educational facilities and that they are sincere in wanting the best for us?

In Malaysia, unfairness is institutionalised. For example, it is alright for certain schools or universities like the Universiti Institut Teknologi Mara to bar non-malays.

So it piques me to hear some blaming vernacular schools for racial tensions. Vernacular schools have never barred malays from enrolling into them unlike Mara educational institutions. If vernacular schools are to be blamed, so too must the Mara institutions.

A minister responsible for higher education who can make such inflammatory statements confirms that the so-called meritocracy system of university entrance is a sham, since he was able to promise that the percentage for malay applicants will never fall below the previous quota percentage.

Is he suggesting that we should rejoice over our poor education? Please do not confuse quality with quantity.

I cannot help but think that the politicians have an ulterior motive. If so, please be honest and brave enough to admit it.

With such narrow-minded people in charge, it is difficult to have confidence in any of their suggestions.

When it came to choosing a career, I avoided public services for the fear of being excluded from promotions just like how I was excluded from matriculation etc. Many employers are also very racially defined.

Now, as much as I miss hanging out with people of other races, I end up being with people of my own race.

Looking back, I don't think our primary vernacular system is the cause of disunity. On the contrary, it enriches our Malaysian heritage. The real problems are with the uneven playing fields that split malays and non-malays from secondary school onwards.

Another examples are the Chinese Indonesians. Most of them don't even speak their mother tongue, nor do they even carry Chinese names anymore, yet come any major political turmoil, they are targeted by the majority. Is this due to vernacular education?

The government should be aware of the fact that the number of Chinese schools has not increased over the past 30 years despite the need for them due to increased demand from both Chinese and non-Chinese students.

The diversity of education methods in the country is a national treasure and should be upheld. Unity will come from mutual respect and fair treatment for all - not necessarily from a uniform education.

Whether they will take concrete steps to address the imbalance is another matter for, while I am optimistic about the people of Malaysia, I have very little faith in politicians.

coolooc said...

Then let me re-quote Lee Kuan Yew:

Singaporean politician Lee Kuan Yew of the PAP, who publicly questioned the need for Article 153 in parliament, and called for a "Malaysian Malaysia".

In a speech, Lee Kuan Yew bemoaned what would later be described as the Malaysia social contract:

"According to history, malays began to migrate to Malaysia in noticeable numbers only about 700 years ago. Of the 39% malays in Malaysia today, about one-third are comparatively new immigrants like the secretary-general of Umno, Dato Syed Jaafar, who came to Malaya from Indonesia just before the war at the age of more than thirty. Therefore it is wrong and illogical for a particular racial group to think that they are more justified to be called Malaysians and that the others can become Malaysians only through their favour."

Eventually, and Singapore became an independent nation in 1965, with Lee Kuan Yew as its first prime minister.